> People who hate on coleslaw are simply not putting enough salt on it.

People who hate coleslaw are just running unsalted, seed-oil-drenched funeral cabbage and calling it a side dish. Of course you hate it. You made wet paper with a mayo corpse floating in it.

Cabbage is a tough little bastard. It wants salt. Real salt, the kind that makes the shredded leaves sweat and soften and turn into something that actually tastes like food. Under-salted coleslaw is just cold wet salad cosplay. You are chewing on sadness with a fork.

And the dressing situation is a war crime. These bottles of industrial seed oil slurry that taste like the inside of a tire factory? Get that shyt out of my kitchen. Cabbage has been feeding humans for centuries. It does not deserve to die drowning in soybean regret and "light" mayo that is mostly water and lies. Use actual oil that came from an animal or an olive. Use vinegar that bites. Mustard. A little sugar if you must. Salt until it wakes up. Taste it. Salt again. Then stop when it starts talking back.

Good coleslaw is crunchy, salty, sharp, a little creamy, the kind of thing you steal spoonfuls of while the meat is still on the grill. Bad coleslaw is the beige glop they scoop next to your dry chicken at the church picnic while some aunt says "I made it from the bag." That aunt is the reason people pretend they hate coleslaw. She never met a salt shaker she trusted.

Stop blaming the cabbage. The cabbage is innocent. Your hands are the problem. Salt it like you mean it and put something better than truck-stop oil on it. Then come back and apologize to every head of green you ever wronged.